This month Gil helps a reader whose male friends seem to be jealous of her boyfriend. Twenty-three-year-old Robert Duncan McNeill (Charlie on ABC-TV's All My Children and Kevin in last summer's Masters of the Universe agrees that its not always easy to maintain a romantic relationship and friendships -- male or female -- at the same time. The Atlanta-raised, blue-eyed blonde had this to say about buddies and budding romance:
Just because you love someone doesn't mean your friends will love him, too. I was once in a long-term relationship where a lot of my friends had problems with my girlfriend. Some said she was too bossy, and a couple actually told me, "Forget it, it's never going to work." At first it really upset me, because I thought my girlfriend was none of their business. And I did lose a couple of friends over it; at the time, though, I felt my relationship with my girlfriend was more important.
But sometimes friends can see problems in your relationship that you can't because you're blinded by love. Listening to their opinions and feeling can be helpful -- as long as you make up you own mind once you've heard them out. You have to decide which friends are acting jealous and immature, and which are really trying to be helpful. If they don't like your boyfriend because they think he's taking you away from them, they might not be worth staying friends with.
If there's a problem, it's always good to talk about it. Sometimes explaining to your friends why you like someone helps them understand the person a little better. With me, the friends who disliked my girlfriend the most at first were the ones who eventually became closest with her.